If he doesn’t change and you continue to feel frustrated by his behavior then remember that you can always drop him and move on. This is an example of not accepting behavior that you don’t want without conflict.

A guy wants a woman like this because he knows that you can take care of yourself and you won’t drag him down with neediness. Showing the guy that you’re not going to wait around for him if he disappears demonstrates a lot of good things about you: you have your own life, you have options and your world doesn’t revolve around him. Not settling for what you don’t want is attractive.īottom line: Don’t accept or ignore behavior that you don’t want… but realize that “not accepting” behavior doesn’t mean fighting the other person.

Now, I know there’s a lot of talk out there about being a challenge… and that being a challenge is somehow inherently attractive to guys… but I’m here to tell you that being a challenge is not attractive. She didn’t put up with behavior that didn’t work for her – namely, if I left her hanging, I could be sure she’d make other plans. This is why being accommodating to bad behavior is actually harmful to creating a bond with the guy in the beginning.Īny woman I’ve ever really cared for (and showed priority towards) didn’t settle for behavior that wasn’t what she wanted. The more of an effort he puts into seeing you or doing things for you, the more invested in you he’ll become. I would encourage you to look for opportunities for the guy to make an effort toward you. And the interesting part is that the more we put effort into a relationship with someone, the more invested WE become. This isn’t just a guy thing… it’s a human thing – we only put effort into interactions that require it. If your availability is limited (and therefore requires planning and coordination to reach you), then he will make an effort to set time aside for you and make solid plans with you (instead of contacting you only when it’s convenient for him). If you’re always available to the guy, it’s only natural that he’ll expect you to be available whenever he feels like contacting you. DON’T wait on him because people tend to fall into a routine with other people based on past behavior. The problem with the needy mindset is that when you’re not getting what you want, you have a strong negative reaction because you think of his specific behavior as something you “need” in order to be OK… happy… fulfilled.Īt this point, rather than calling him out when he doesn’t respond, you would be far more effective if you make other plans when this happens. There’s nothing wrong with having a preference for what you want and only settling for what you want. So what specifically is the neediness mindset? It’s believing that you “need” the other person to act a certain way, be a certain way, do specific things or say specific things… or else you won’t be happy. Rather, I’m recommending that you change how you think about things and, therefore, the needy behaviors and ways of acting naturally disappear. So when I talk about neediness or acting needy, I’m not recommending that you change how you behave or even try to avoid these actions. It finds a way to telegraph itself no matter how much the person tries not to “act needy”. A few clarifying points: I know the term “neediness” gets thrown around a lot these days, so I want to be really specific in how I define it.

4 pics one word answers guy with radio